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Me and All My Friends

by Kelsi Grammar

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1.
Bad Jokes 01:51
Bad jokes and smug lines That's how these past few years read New homes and trying times Who wouldn't help a friend in need? Desperation describes it at it's best I even called up to heaven to see if Jesus was still my friend He said, "Acquaintances, more or less" But I'm still here Bad jokes and smug lines That's how these past few years read New homes and trying times Who wouldn't help a friend in need? I'm a friend in need
2.
Sleep Slow 03:29
So sleep slow Well I don't wanna go. But hazy eyes say, "no" There's no point to know, Just let it go And my ribs ached, From the cold leaking in your window And my back froze, cause you wouldn't share more than your shitty records and blow And I'll take this so slow That the light between the shadows Will separate a day, and all you took for granted Was all that I gave, and had to give From the weakly mess that's me But I won't return so sweet So sleep slow, Well I don't wanna know you I may of thought it too bold, But manners make it cowardly, You know? I do And all that time we spent To be just another picture pinned upon your bedroom wall to make The other's uneasy, thinking, 'No she won't leave me just like them" So I'll save all my prayers For that sunday come round The breathe of repentance Speaking louder now And I'll take this so slow That the light between the shadows Will separate a day, and all you took for granted Was all that I gave, and had to give From the weakly mess that's me But I won't return so sweet No, I won't return to you.
3.
Well me and all my friends We don't speak too much as of late But they don't give a shit There's really not much more I could say But I guess they haven't heard Because I've been screaming for hours Just to hear a slight reflection I guess my friends make better cowards Better ghosts Empty homes Except no one floats And no one haunts me Me alone I am Alone So I'll just choke On all the indifference left behind But it won't mean shit Just a point to pass pointless time Yeah, I'll pretend Yeah, I'll hold strong Onto everything there never was Between me and all and my friends Yeah, me Me and all my friends I really need a friend to hope I die I really need a friend by my side Me and all my friends Yeah, me Me and all my friends We don't speak So I'll watch my teeth fall out one by one And pretend that I'm just getting old And I'll say something I used to mean And pretend that everything that turns into rust turns back into gold Me and all my friends they'll keep me on that deadline Watching my eyes sink in Friends don't let friends begin this shit again credits
4.
Breakdown the friends that make you whole Clean up your dress, and take you home Who really needs a goddamn friend, When you've got all these good intentioned men? Clean up the mess from under your bed It's hard to remember what was said You feel the burn between your thighs Pray to god that this conception dies I never knew I'm sorry I never knew I'm sorry I never knew it all. Well I can't keep a promise, and I'm just a blackout away from twenty-nine If you can stand a drunken demise, I can't argue with, "That's just fine" But I gotta believe that God planned better Bloody noses and I'm a desperate man It's been three grams a week since I met her And that wedding ring really puts a damper on all my plans But I won't stay, I won't fight the fucking wind kid Yeah, I'll abandon this No, I won't stay No, I won't stay. I won't fight the fucking wind. No, I won't. Breakdown the friends that make you whole Clean up your dress, and take you home Who really needs a goddamn friend, When you've got all these good intentioned men? Who really needs a goddamn, Who really needs a goddamn friend?
5.
I've been trying to redefine myself Under cowardly I checked no, but thought yes Saw your parents again, I avoided them, I thought it might be best To do without uneasy speech Like after we fucked and I came But the words were never meant the same But I saw through your tissue thin cheeks That the blush was gone from where my lips had touched And in the ease of speech and lack color Could tell the feeling was crushed In a loveless routine there's no lack of seams Ripping from your skin, they break and bend So I'll mend again There was no lack of trying, Just usually turned to lust There was no lack of love Just wasn't between us So to put words to thoughts and rather nots Again, we won't be friends But to pander to bouts of true love Seems fruitless in the end So you'll burn the pictures and I'll sell the things That we meant for our place A home away, a deceitful game, played for the taste Of drugs and drinks, and pissing in our first kitchen sink While I screamed fire above And stumbled drunkenly to show a lack of love So you tore out your eyes, Cause you couldn't stand the sight of me Now five years gone by, And I'm the one who couldn't speak Cause I couldn't speak, And you couldn't listen With the best of us gone It was best just to give in Just to give into this credits
6.
Stale Teeth 02:24
I can see the stale air trapped between your teeth, it's from holding in all those words you couldn't quite spit out It's alright though, I don't mind when we don't speak, it keeps us from all those stagnant conversations you go on about, While you're turning over and over in your sleep In your sleep I'm not saying the repetition bothers me, but I know it kills you So I guess self-inflicting infidelity always suited you best Torn between the static but honest notions, And the constant burning flame built under a bed of unrest, And if it keeps you turning over and over in your sleep, Will you please just leave?
7.
Tree 03:22
This stone floor breathes beneath my feet, it's the chill remembered when I cleaned it on my knees The feeling when you screamed and said be still Be still, I never was, and I'll never be These holes are filling up these walls, patched since I first left Empty still it feels, the holes I think were kept Buried between your fingers, caked underneath your nails The scent of fresh air lingers, but fails to leave a trail It was always such a goddamn tragedy to you. Blues were overused, and meant for the weak, And I was weak, But am I weak? Oh I am weak So what's changed since I first left? I still pretend that I'm asleep I'm still faking all my dreams And I still burn what I can't keep And it always feels the same when i'm coming home I'm not coming home But I still long for what I had, Miss the truth of staying mad Honesty always comes better when your angry Honestly, it always makes it through to me It's the feeling I miss about sleeping alone And I'm always alone It was always such a goddamn tragedy to you Blues were overused, and meant for the weak And I was weak And I am weak I hear our kitchen crashing "Did you burn down the woods again?" God would you please stop asking me I swear it hasn't changed since then I'm still trying to disappear in my sleep I swear I haven't changed since then
8.
Some Days 02:46
I swear I haven't changed since then but somedays I end up like this confessing my sins on repeat, To drink when I should be asleep And I still push my knuckles into cement To feel the best of my bones as they're slightly bent. slightly skewed, slightly skinned, across this ground It starts with the bottle, the binge and the break All the words I couldn't fake The comfort about staying at home The things I speak when I'm alone But I'm impatient and good times are on the waining And i'm not waiting, I'm wanting, and taking So lets just stick to this, my hand in your fist, Slightly bent, but the break is worth the risk to keep it all together To the best of these years, I can read the rings on the inside of my fingers To cut and dissect the bedrooms I have lived in To resent the taste would to be to say That the thought of clean living doesn't still linger but it starts with the bottle the binge and the break, but I guess by now this is something I can fake the comfort of being at home, being comfortable enough to speak alone Somedays I end up like this, Confessing a lie to believe Confessing my sins on repeat, When the thought of clean living really fucking bothers me
9.
I just can't stand this sentiment It's heartfelt and hardly meant It's summer days shorter spent, Less speak built upon the truth slightly bent It's petals picked and wells wished in, And all the things I tried to fake again It's a stunning sight, my aging skin, Baffling me to the point of making amends I just am, I am just that, Oh, It's just that I am just existing. It's my childhood washed away And the character I now betray, Burning in my backyard Its my time between these days, And things I ought not say As I stumble into every glassy shard I just am, I am just that, Oh, It's just that I am just existing. So I spent a year in my room, Cooped up avoiding you, And by you I mean me So I spent a year slightly sober, Better to be slightly less numb than you And by you I mean me, myself, I'm always referring to me I'm always referring to me
10.
Twelve 04:16
When I was twelve, I thought I might have died, May have drowned, but I choked on water Found the ground between my toes, My head still floats, and I'm still coughing up this mess And I might be more lost than I was then More or less When I was sixteen, I thought I might have fell May have found love, but I choked on your lips And found that ground above my head My hearts not dead, and I'm still coughing up that mess But I might be more lost than I was then More or less But when I was ten, I thought I might have found God May have found a friend, but I choked on His word Beginning and end, my soul won't float And I'm still coughing up His mess I think I may be more lost than I was then More or less But I'm still here, and I'm still waiting Still slightly sober, maybe still slightly exaggerating But I found that ground and all the rest Found some truth or something slightly less And if I found one thing, After all these years of searching For some kind of resolution With all my shitty flaws And all my goddamn friends And All the shitty things I've said to them If I could say one last goddamn thing it'd be, "Fuck it all"

credits

released August 24, 2012

Anthony Founds
Patrick Cassleman
Mark McGinn

Tracked and mixed by Lane Johnson
Mastered by Colin Leonard

www.facebook.com/Kelsigrammar

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Kelsi Grammar Atlanta, Georgia

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